SPEAKER_00: 0:40

Hi uh, it's Cheryl here, and you're listening to Amazing Brilliant Gorgeous Wonderful. And today we're talking about the exhausting belief that you need more confidence, more courage, more sparkle, more something before you're allowed to be visible. If you've been leading while feeling like you're one comment away from collapsing, this matters. And no, no, no, no, I'm not going to tell you to step into your power like it's a wardrobe choice.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32

No.

SPEAKER_00: 1:36

You know, there's a particular kind of tired that hits women in leadership, in my opinion. It's not just I need a nap, it's I can't keep performing competently while managing everyone else's feelings about my competency. Um, when you're in that that tired thing, you start thinking you need to become less I don't know, someone else, maybe, or something else to survive. Maybe you feel as if you're a bit of an imposter and you need to be more polished or more diplomatic, less direct, less you. But here's the thing: stress does it, it makes you forget your own evidence. It's like your brain taking your achievements, your resilience, your history of handling hard things, and files them under not relevant, baby, will panic right now. So let me ask you this when are you already using your moxie under a different name? Because many women have moxie, they just call it uh keep it together, or sometimes they call it just getting on with it, or being the one everyone relies on, or I'm handling things.

SPEAKER_01: 3:16

That's not absence of strength, that's strength with a really bad branding.

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What have you survived that proves that you're not fragile? There's something, it may not be in a dramatic way, but it's a real way, it's a you way. Maybe you've navigated conflict without losing your integrity, or maybe you've rebuilt after a knock of some sort, maybe in your health, or maybe you've dealt with a really toxic person, another manager, and still delivered, or maybe you've hit you've held it together for years while your own knees were treated like some optional extra. Now, I'm not romanticizing struggle here. I'm not, I'm saying you are not new here, as uh some West Indians like to call it. You haven't just got off the boat, and yet when workplaces get messy, especially when there's gossip, investigation energy, vague threats, or people playing politics, women often go into one of two modes. They make themselves smaller because they believe it will make them stay safe, or they go to another extreme, they overfunction to prove that they deserve that space. Both are understandable, don't get me wrong, but neither feel good.

SPEAKER_01: 5:07

So another question who brings you back to yourself?

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Not the person who's wound up, who winds you up with you've got this, but the person who steadies you, who reminds you of who you are without turning it into some pet rally, because resources aren't just skills, your resources aren't just skills, they're also people, environments, routines, boundaries, and even tiny anchors of familiarity. And if you're thinking, I don't have any of that, I'll say this gently. You might, but stress has convinced you it doesn't count unless it's dramatic. What's one thing you do well that you've stopped noticing? Sometimes women are brilliant at de-escalating conflict, um, reading group dynamics, staying calm under pressure, delivering results without fanfare, and mentoring others quietly. And because it's normal for you, you treat it like it's nothing. But normal for you might be life-changing for someone else around you. Now, I can already hear the objections, I'm not confident enough. Good. Confidence is not the entry ticket, it's often the byproduct of what you do. What you actually need is enough steadiness, I think, to show up as yourself one more time. Or I'm too tired. Yes, that's why the goal isn't to become louder, the goal is to become truer, truer to you in a way that doesn't require constant performance. What would you call your leadership style if you liked yourself? Because a lot of women call themselves bossy when they're actually clear, they call themselves too much when they're actually present, they call themselves difficult when they're actually not taking any nonsense. Resources include language, and some of your language is overdue for a refund, I'm afraid. Just think about it. Next time, we'll step back and we'll widen the lens because when you're right up close to a toxic situation, it can feel like it's your fault. Spoiler alert, it often isn't. So you're not starting from zero, stress doesn't make stress just makes you forget your own evidence, and then you assume you need to be someone else. You don't. You just need to remember what already is true about you. So remember to subscribe, share this episode if you found something useful, and repeat. Trust your journey and remember progress is progress, no matter the pace. Bye for now,